What Is Wrong With Being A Perfectionist?

 Top Tip For Not Being Happy….  BE PERFECT      
    You need only to hang on to your daunting standards of perfectionism, and you can be sure happy days will never come Have you noticed that people who describe themselves as perfectionists usually do so with a sheepish smile on their faces?
And have you noticed also that their smile is a strangely conflicted one that seems to combine both, pride and embarrassment?
   The pride comes from their belief that being perfectionist is the ideal way to be. (Wrong!)
    The embarrassment comes from their awareness that, to me most other people, most of the time, their perfectionism can be a pain in the rear. (Right!) Perfectionism is a real problem, not something to be proud of.

   “What’s wrong with trying to be  perfect?”  you might ask (particularly if you’re perfectionist). “What’s wrong with striving for excellence?” In one words. “Nothing”.  But the gulf between striving for excellence and striving for perfection is  not just a semantic one. It’s as deep as a moat. Strivers after excellence are realistic. They have a positive motivation the desire to get the job done. They can be happy about having done a great job even thought all their goals may not have been completely met. And they can derive a very  real sense of pleasure from the process (the journey), as much as from the outcome (the destination).
   The perfectionist’s drive for success and accomplishment may seem, on the surface, very similar to that of the healthy “striver for excellence.” However, the underlying dynamics are very different. Strivers after perfectionism are idealistic often to a pathological degree. Theirs is a negative motivation to avoid disapproval, rejection or criticism from other people, or just from the inner critic in their head. Because perfectionists will accept nothing less than, well, ‘perfection’, they are rarely satisfied with the outcomes. In their own eyes, they never seem to do things well enough to warrant a feeling of satisfaction. They are so completely focused on the destination that they never enjoy the journey.

A MANY-LAYERED THING: Perfectionism is multi-dimensional. That  is, it can operate at several different levels. The three main types of perfectionism are:
Self-oriented perfectionism: This is the requirement for the self to be perfect. It is what we usually think of when we use the term perfectionism.
Other-oriented perfectionism: This is the requirement that others (spouse, children, subordinates, other people in general), be perfect.
Socially-prescribed perfectionism: These perfectionists think that others (such as parents, boss, people in general), expectand demand   perfection from them.
    It is only recently that the first test was developed by Canadian researchers to identify and measure the three types of perfectionism.

ARE YOU A PERFECTIONIST ?
    Perfectionists generally know themselves for what they are. But if you’re just beginning to wonder, after reading the preceding paragraphs, whether you might be a perfectionist, you probably are, at least to some degree. If you want to make sure, check whether the  following traits of he perfectionist personality sound familiar. (Also, take the quick quiz: “14 Signs You’re a Perfectionist”).
Unrealistic standards. Just being ‘almost perfect’ is not enough for a perfectionist: It’s tantamount to falling down on the job. The perfectionist is perennially assailed by the feeling that s/he should have done more, in less time, than is reasonable possible. All-or-nothing, black-and-white thinking is typical of the perfectionist: If it’s not perfect, it’s a failure.
   Non-perfectionists may find this difficult to grasp, but when perfectionists are in the process of striving to make something as absolutely perfect as they possibly can, they don’t experience themselves as trying “too hard.” They simply feel as though they’re trying to do a quality job (which., on the face of it, isn’t too shabby a goal). The problem is that other people (those lucky souls who were handed other personality styles) can stop at a reasonable point and proclaim an outcome “good enough.” Perfectionists have a very hard time knowing what “good enough” means.
    Their fear of failure (that is, a job imperfectly done) is so pervasive and unremitting, that it completely eludes perfectionists that, for a human being, perfectionism is a completely unreachable place, a place reserved for the Creator.
All-or-nothing, black-and-white thinking is typical of the perfectionist: If it’s not perfect it’s a failure
A hyper-critical perspective.. The tiniest mistakes and imperfections are magnified by perfectionists into “just won’t do” proportions. They home in and obsess over minor flaws-such as a word or a hair out of place and have trouble seeing hat the job overall has been well done. ‘Finicky’ and ‘fussy’ are words that justifiable describe them. Not only are perfectionists highly critical of themselves but also of others. Rather than do an imperfect job themselves, they end up spending a good amount of time frowning upon the imperfections of others. Criticism then becomes like a recording loop in their brain, playing its jarring tune over and over: Ohmigod, doesn’t she look into a mirror before she leaves the house? Where on earth does he get his statistics from an Ouija board? I’d never be caught dead serving tea in coffee mugs…
    Frozen into inaction by their fear for failure, and riding a runaway roller-coaster of criticism, perfectionists end up spending less and less time attempting something on their own, and more and more time bagging out everyone else.
Defensiveness. Paradoxically, perfectionists can’t take criticism from others, even constructive criticism. They are so full of how they hold themselves to such high standards that criticism simply  feels like an attack to them. They find it hard to see what’s constructive’ about it.
   Deep down, perfectionists are terrified of being vulnerable, of having their flaws exposed.
Need to control.  Perfectionists are control-oriented and disintegrate in the face of loss of control. Because they need to be in control, they can draw non-negotiable lines over insignificant issues such as the arrangement of the living-room furniture or which liquid soap the family will use. They find it hard to see another’s point of view, are unwilling to compromise and will defend their opinion till kingdom come.
Chronic depression.  Because their initial goals are set so high, perfectionists beat themselves up  very time they go unmet. Unable to bounce back easily from disappointment, they wallow in depression. It takes them a very long time to climb out of that pit of misery and move on to the next challenge.
    Their depression can pretty much take on a life of its own: there are perfectionists who view their depression as a flaw and become more depressed.
Anger and stress. Perfectionists feel impotent if they haven’t done their best (or surpassed it) and this can bring on a lot of anger, often hidden and controlled. On the other hand, their critical take on the imperfections of others can also bring on anger, in this case the self-righteous kind.
  It’s hard work having to be to top all the time, so perfectionism unsurprisingly also trails in a load of stress.
Resentment and self-pity.  The lack of real achievement is a common outcome with perfectionists. They lose so much time and energy on small irrelevant details of projects, tasks, even mundane daily activities, have organizational rituals which seem pointless to others, always seem to be needing so much more preparation before getting started on something, that they end up actually achieving far less than others who get on more briskly with the imperfect present.
   Faced with the fact that they are notching up   fewer achievements than others, perfectionists build up a cache of negative emotions:
   Resentment and jealousy Why should others get more rewards than I do when their performance is so average, so full of holes I could pick, when I have a far greater potential for perfection then they do? Self pity Poor me; why can’t people see beyond my immobilization  to my true, never-expressed talents?
Phychological laziness…. The most efficient kind of laziness there is. All the challenges of life, all the big decisions, all the difficult choices, are negotiated in the gray matter of your mind. Give up there and your work is done. And that is why perfectionism is the ideal way to never get past the mental starting-block of any goal, project or change.
Giving  up is much self, much easier, too. You don’t really have to try.
Low self-esteem.   Weight down with the baggage of self censure, perfectionists are unhappy, suffer from low self-esteem. Often, they tend to avoid situations, especially competitive situations, that might showcase their presumed imperfections. (Thus tendency is common even in young children with perfectionistic traits.)
   In addition their rigidity, their confrontational attitude and the hyper-critical glasses with which they view the rest of the world tend to isolate perfectionists from  others; the alienation and loneliness that result lowers their self-esteem even further.
The lack of real achievement is a common outcome with perfetionists

WHERE DOES PERFECTIONISM COME FROM?  What starts this pogo-stick approach to life? A pile of research seems to point strongly to a generic maker for perfectionism. The indications come largely form the study of twins which offers scientists the unique opportunity to examine the extent to which the transmission of a personality trait (like perfectionism) in families is due to environmental or genetic factors. Identical twins share all of their genes, while fraternal twins share, on average, half of their genes. If a trait occurs in both members of identical twin pairs more often than it occurs in both members of fraternal twin pairs, then the disorder can be said to be influenced by genes.
    The results have been surprisingly consistent in pointing to a substantial genetic contribution to traits such as perfectionism., orderliness, low self-esteem ad overall anxiety, all of which are to be found in what has been called the perfectionistic personality. It is likely that multiple genes will eventually be identified as setting  the stage for such a personality.
   Whether single or multiple, however, these genes will necessarily have to interact with environmental influences to bring on the full-blown perfectionistic personality. The childhood history of blown perfectionists  is typically characterized by an over-emphasis on achievement by family members (parents, older siblings, grand-parents). Under such pressure, a child can begin to believe that it is not loved unconditionally, but only for what it  achieves, and only if and when it perfumes. Come home with all A’s and one B? The child would be questioned on why s/he got the B. Such a child doesn’t learn that mistakes are a natural and acceptable part of life, that they are to be honored because they offer us a chance to learn. Failure for such a child equals loss of love.
The bottomline: Perfectionism may originate in the genes, but it is nurtured and cultivated by adults who  teach children that what they do is more important than who they are. Growing into adulthood,  these children come to believe that unless they work hard, unless they give everything their absolutely top effort, they won’t be appreciated and loved. In the end, perfectionism comes down to this need and search for approval and acceptance.
   Because of the probable substantial contribution from genes, compounded by the fact that the family influences start operation very early in a child’s life, perfectionism and its accompanying emotional baggage have been found to make their appearance even in small children. For instance, one experiment  with pre-schoolers  at a computer camp in Toronto showed that even 4-and 5-year-olds possess marked traits for perfectionism. Interviewers asked the children five questions tapping perfectionism levels (e. g. , “How would you like to be perfect”). They then gave the kids a compute task that was rigged to not work. The highly perfectionistic  children showed greater sings of extreme distress, found. Elevated anger and anxiety, the researchers found.
     Having its wellsprings so early in childhood, perfectionism then gains momentum inexorably and takes on a life of its own. Very soon, it becomes a cohort ad a burden you can’t get rid of, pretty much like Sinbad’s Old Man of the Sea.
Those who wrestle with perfectionism tend to have a critical voice in their held telling them their work isn’t good enough, they’re not trying hard enough, and they’re not good enough.

FROM’ABSOLUTELYPERFECT’TO’GOOD ENOUGH’.
Sinbad released himself from his burden by making the Old Man drunk on wine. Releasing oneself form the burned of perfectionism is not so simply done. Even in professional therapy, it takes time and a lot of hard work. In fact, in the first place, clients hardly ever come with a presenting problem of perfectionism, for at least two reasons: One, because perfectionists do not consider their perfectionism a ‘problem’, quite the opposite in fact; two, because, even if they do, admitting to a weakness or a flaw just goes totally against the grain for someone with the traits of the perfectionistic personality (which include even grandiosity, to a lesser or greater degree). In therapy, perfectionists tend not to want to disclose anything that’s going to make them look imperfect.
     This makes the therapy process challenging. The therapist who tries to force-feed commonsensical wisdom down the resisting gullet of he perfectionist (“Lower your standards!’, “Take it easy!”) is doomed to frustration and eventual failure. It’s not easy for perfectionists to  take it easy. And they have been told so many times be well-wishers to lower their standards that the therapist who focuses on their high personal standards, risks being ignored by her perfectionist-clients as just another voice chanting the same old mantras. Therapy has a much better chance of succeeding when the therapist focuses on the precursors of perfection the need to be accepted, to be cared for. Those interpersonal needs  are what drive the perfectionistic behavior . Show the perfectionist that she can quotient, and the therapy is off to a promising start.
      Without professional therapy, the journey is rather more difficult, not  to add, lonely. Articles and books on perfectionism will help you get knowledge and insight about this rampaging demon, but conquering it comes not from intellectual accretion but from acting from doing battle in the trenches. Here’s a look at some of he weaponry that you can hoist:
    Become aware of your tendencies.  You may not realize how pervasive perfectionism can be. By becoming more ware of your perfectionistic patterns, your put yourself in a better position to alter them. If you’re able, the best thing is to record your perfectonistic thoughts as they pop into your head. If it’s impractical for you to jot down thoughts as they come, it’s a good idea to go over your day each night and recall the times when you felt you’d failed or hadn’t done well enough, and importantly to write down what you thought at the time. This will help you become more aware of perfectionistic thoughts as they come to you in the future.  (But if you go one day, or several, without doing this, don’t feel you’ve ‘failed’ just get back on track).
    Do a cost-benefit analysis.   You may have believed for a long  time (and may still do) that your perfectionistic traits actually make you more effective (although, according to research, this isn’t true), but at what cost? Perfectionism has many negative consequences, as I’ve listed above, and you may be experiencing several of them right now. Jot down all the ways that perfectionism is hurting you (and those around you). Do this in writing, not in your thoughts, and when you see how long that list of negatives is, it will bolster your motivation to shed those damaging tendencies.
Seek out the positives.   If you’re struggling with perfectionism, you’ve probably honed the skill of spotting mistakes in even the best works of other and of yourself. This tendency, over time, builds to the point where you just naturally look for the flaws, and notice them above all other things. Like any other habit, this is difficult to stop straightaway, but one good way to start is to make a deliberate effort to notice all that is god with your work and that of others. If you become aware of noticing something you don’t like, look immediately for five other qualities that you do like. You’ll be surprised at how often you do find them. Doing this as a regular exercise will temper your critical focus and will itself become a positive new habit.
Alter your self-take.   Self-talk, a. k. a. your thoughts, go on and on in you mind, often without you being consciously aware of them. Those who write with perfectionism tend to have a critical voice in their head telling  them their work isn’t good enough, they’re not trying hard enough, and they’re not good enough. This kind of negative self talk reinforces the perpetual drive to keep trying harder and harder. Changing this little voice is a matter of challenging those negative thoughts each time they surface. This is one of the most beneficial approaches used in therapy today, and you’ll find the detailed how to ‘s in a previous column (‘How to Challenge Negative Thinking’ Health and Nutrition, October 2006). But here’s an example: 
    Your son is doing poorly in school. You blame yourself I’m trying so hard to be the perfect mother, but if my son is not performing well, it can  only mean that I’m doing a poor job of it. It’s all my fault  that he isn’t studying.
    Now, challenge those negative assumptions: By taking all the responsibility for how my son is doing I school, am I not disregarding the fact that he is an individual who is ultimately responsible for   himself? I can do my best to guide him, but in the end he controls his actions. Would I take the credit if he performed well? No, I’d say, “He accomplished that by himself.” So why blame myself when he does something not so praiseworthy ? Beating myself up is not going to change his behavior. Only he can do that.
This to handle criticism. This, too is actually a matter of changing the way you thing (i. e., react to criticism). Perfectionists see criticism as an attack and therefore react defensively. But train you mind to look at criticism differently. Constructive criticism can give you important clues on how to improve your performance, making it a useful stepping stone that leads to excellence. If the criticism is pointed or harsh, it’s okay to remind others (and yourself) that mistakes are a great way to learn.

ARE PERFECTIONISTS ALSO PROCRASTINATORS?

    The surprising findings of the latest research!   Procrastination (that is, the tendency to put off today what you can possibly do tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow) has long been viewed as the hand-maiden of perfectionism. The accepted wisdom runs thus: fearing failure as they do, perfectionists sometimes worry so much about doing something imperfectly that they postpone the job (“I can’t start my project until I know the ‘right’ way to do It.”), then become paralyzed at the prospect and end up not doing it at all. This leads to more feeling of failure, and a vicious cycle is perpetuated. Winston Churchill agreed: “Perfections is spelled ‘paralysis’, he said.
“Perfectionists  actually procrastinate less,. But they worry about it more”
    But this chestnut, as well as the entrenched professional perception have recently been challenged by the results of a meta-analysis by the world’s for most expert on procrastination. Dr. Piers Steel published his findings in The American Psychological Association’s arguably the top academic journal for the social sciences. And it’s only taken him 10 years.
    Joking aside, Dr. Steel’s magnum opus, which distilled  and synthesized the evidence on procrastination from 691 other research sources, came up with some surprising conclusions, of which the one that turns conventional  wisdom most decidedly on its head is this:
     Most self-help books have it completely wrong when they say perfectionism is at the root of proctrastination. “Essentially, procrastinators have less confidence in themselves, les expectancy that they can actually complete a task,” Steel concludes from his meta-analysis. “Prfectionism is not the culprit. In fact, perfectionists actually procrastinate less, but they worry about it more.”
    Other predictors of procrastination, the research found, include: task aversiveness,  impulsiveness, distractibility, and how much a person is motivated to achieve. Not all delays can be considered procrastination; the key is that a person must believe it would be better to start working on given tasks immediately, but start.
    It’s still unclear, says Steel, why some people may be more prone to developing procrastination, but some evidence suggests it may be genetic.
     Take small steps and only one at a time.   If you’re a dyed-in-the-wool perfectionist whose life has been tormented by this gremlin, you’ll probably want to be rid of it in a hurry. But instant nirvana just doesn’t happen in this area. Your brain has gone down the perfectionism path too long to stop immediately. It’s like an ocean liner that reverses engines and then takes miles and a long, long time to stop.
    Not only do need to go slow, you also need to go easy on yourself. As a perfectionist, you’re more likely than others to set your goals (for change) unrealistically high, not making allowance for a learning curve, and being so rigidly demanding  of yourself that you leave no room for error. While you don’t need to sacrifice the end result, it’s important to take only bite-sized steps towards them, breaking up your goals into sub-goals, and rewarding yourself when you successfully attain each one.
     I’ll illustrate this with an example from my won experience. The client in this case was a young college girl, whose presenting problem was depression. She was an only child, and the mother was domineering. The girl’s perfectionistic tendencies surfaced soon enough during counseling.  She talked about how, even in school, it took her a long time to do her Maths homework because it had to “look” absolutely neat in her book  Not only did she erase and rewrite constantly, but if the page ended up not looking “good”, she’d tear it up and start all over. When she packed her books each day into her school-bag, they had to go into organized, per-determined positions. In college, working on essay-type projects had her setting at the computer for hours, struggling with writer’s block (an outcome of stress and anxiety) all the while. But it was the projects that required (and allotted marks for) design and presentation  that brought her perfectionistic tendencies out in full battle-strength. Here projects turned out to be more embellished than those of any other student’s. It didn’t matter to her how man points were at stake for design (just 10 out of 100), she “simply had to do my best”, no matter how long it took. Well, it took overlong, as it turned out, and so each project had her going up to the professor and tentatively asking or a small extension on the deadline.  Because she was known as a hard-working student, she almost invariably did get the extension. And then? “Once they saw my work, they gave me the marks they thought it deserved, the didn’t seem to remember that I handed it in late.” But the rest of the class saw it differently. They were astonished at the regular deadline extension that she managed to get, and exasperated, too, because they saw it as unfairness on the part of the professor ( which, of course, it was)
    Needless to say, the young perfectionist faced a degree of isolation from he test of he class, which was a significant contributor to the depression she was experiencing. She confessed, during counseling, that she was aware of the resentment she had provoked. She  was conscious of the inherent unfairness of the professors’ leniency. She was also intelligent and sensitive enough to be able to honestly answer the question: Do the A-pluses and the higher marks presumably brought in by the more “artistic presentation and others? Another question she tried t address:  Would this habit of asking for a  deadline extension not work itself up into a tendency of believing that she “should” always be given an  extension on a project? And how would this pan out in life after college, when sooner or later people could not afford to given her extra time if a meeting were being held at 3 P. M. and her report was needed at that time, she could not be given extra time to make it perfect. And the third question she looked at: was this about how smart and perfect she was, or was it about who she was? And who was she ……. Was she someone who deserved the grade she got foe the 110% effort she put in, or was she someone who took 110% of the time compared to others to give  in the same project?
    She knew the answers, but admitted she also “felt proud” of the “herd work” she’d put in, and she was always envious of those classmates who could “know off assignments”, and stop when they felt it was “good enough” and end up getting the same grade as she did! But she couldn’t knock off assignment that way herself, she said she just wouldn’t be satisfied if she stopped at “ good enough”.
We tried a compromise: She would, of course, continue to put in hard work on her project, but she would not ask for any extension on the deadline. We would be looking then at how much her grading would be affected   if she tried, just once to submit the project when the deadline was up. She certainly had apprehensions, but reinforced her decision to stick with the deadline by drawing up a written self-contract a signed commitment, co-signature  by me as the  witness. This sounds gimmicky, even contrived, but the experience of the rapists underlines its usefulness in keeping people committed as they attempt life-altering changes.
    The final thing we determined was the approach she would use in working o the project. She would first work on the absolute essentials what needed to be done most importantly. She would then, in the time left, put the frosting on the cake devote time to the design aspect.
    It was not at all easy for my young client. She called me the night before she was scheduled to hand in the assignment, saying there was a lot more she wanted to do on it, and a lot more she could do if only she had the time. We talked it over, actually for the most part reinforcing everything we had spoken about and done  during the earlier therapy sessions, most importantly reinforcing her commitment to her self-contract. She could not say she was happy about handing in the project the next day, she confessed, but she would do it. I know how much it must have taken her to do that, and at the follow up session the talked of her fears about scoring much less than usual. But she also talked about how surprised her classmates were, and how they complimented her, only half-jokingly, on given in her project on time. She agreed she felt good about that, and also about not having to timidly approach the professor once again foe an extension. She was surprised (though I wasn’t) when the grade she got was as good as her average score on previous projects in this subject. It was simple enough to figure out: Only she knew what further-embellishment she’d planned to add to her assignment if she’d had time beyond the deadline; her professor didn’t so he didn’t miss those intended flourishes and the project got the good grade it deserved.
    Her perfectionistic streak did not vanish overnight, of course. A personality style is not so easily changed. But by repeatedly pinning down her hobgoblin and tackling it, she learned to see the bigger picture (the things that the are more important in life than perfection), she found she could be accepted and appreciated for herself, that  she didn’t have to keep proving herself to enjoy the process rather than always keeping an anxious eye on the prize, that she could confront her fears (“What is the worst thing that could happen if I were not able to revise this draft one more time?”), and discovering that the possible consequences were not so terrifying after all.
    Starting with allowing yourself  small imperfections is key to making  progress. For instance, deliberately allow minor typos in your e-mail messages to go without spending time correcting each one. I’m reminded of the tradition of oriental painters who purposely leave a small mistake in each of their paintings,. This is a subtle reminder that nobody but the Creator is perfect and it is an insult to assume humans can be perfect, too.
    Not just that, but it is far more relaxing, even enjoyable to flaunt your imperfections. Recently, the first-ever competition for non-pedigreed  dogs was held in Colombo. The visuals celebrating the success of Miss Congeniality and the other winners canines may not be the epitomes of snooty perfection, they too can be loved and accepted just as they are (give or take a ribbon or two). The last issue of this very magazine hurrahed the flaunting by model Padma Lakshmi of the 7 inch accident scar on her right arm. As Virginia Woolf said, “The most freeing thing is to like your imperfections.”

*14 SIGNS  YOU’RE A PERFECTIONIST

   Are you a perfectionist? The more often you answer ‘Yes on this quiz, the more likely it is that you are:
01.    I either want to do something “just right” or not at all.
02.    I have  a very hard time knowing what “good enough” means.
03.    I will persist at a task long after other people have quit.
04.    I avoid doing the things I can’t do well
05.    I can’t stop thinking about a mistake I made.
06.    I demand perfection from other people.
07.    I won’t ask for help if feel asking will be perceived as a weakness.
08.    I just have to correct other people when they are wrong.
09.    I am very self-conscious about making mistakes in front of other people.
10.    I start so many things but finish almost none of them.
11.    I know I should focus on one thing, but which one?
12.    I feel guilty a lot.
13.    I feel angry a lot.
14.    * I noticed the error in the title of this list.

SICK OF BEING PERFECT?

   Recent studies have revealed a significant relationship between perfectionism and anorexia nervosa
    Though Perfectionism is not officially listed as a formal psychological disorder, it is a maladaptive personality style that is associated with a large number of unhealthy consequence, literally so. They include:
(i )Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorders  (OCPD).  The personality style of the perfectionist shows typical obsessive compulsive tendencies the obsessions are with symmetry, neatness, order; the compulsion are  to arrange and rearrange, fix and line up things.
    Most  of the personality traits that perfectionists exhibit are, in fact, used to diagnose OCPD   emotional guardedness; a need for control;  fear of making mistakes or errors; thrift; need to be above criticism; tendency to be stubborn or confrontational; and so on.
Recent studies have revealed a significant relationship between perfectionism and anorexia nervosa, one of the obsessive compulsive related disorders. The anorexic is in search of the “perfect body” and the intake of food is seen as a hindrance to this goal of perfection.
(ii)   Narcissism.    A personality disorder, where the individual needs to see himself or herself as perfect, and which is highly resistant to change.

(iii)  Depression and suicide.  We now have a fairly large literature that  says that  perfectionism is a vulnerability factor for depression and suicide.   
(iv)  Psychosomatic ailments.   Such as chronic back pain, brought on by the unremitting stress associated with perfectionstic tendencies. Which type of health problem does actually manifest in a particular person seems to depend on his/ her specific orientation of perfectionism (See the main article for the three different types.) For example, research has identified the following patterns:
    Self oriented perfectionism is associated with clinical  depression, especially when  there are achievement-related stressors (e. g., a shortfall in performance at school or in a job). It has been shown that when self-oriented perfectionists experience these kinds of stressful events, they experience more severe and more chronic depression symptoms. Self-oriented perfectionism has also other eating disorders, as well as with prolonged elevations in cardio-vascular responses.
    Other-oriented perfectionism has been associated with relationship problems such as poor marital satisfaction, sexual dissatisfaction, and anger toward others. It has been found to be particularly damaging for intimate relationship where it can throw a monkey wrench into the very support that is needed for overcoming perfectionism
   Socially-prescribed perfectionism has been associated with anxiety, depression, eating disorders and hostility, Most importantly, this dimension of perfectionism has been found to predict not only suicidal thoughts in adults and adolescents, but also serious suicide attempts. The reason, it  is suggested, is that socially prescribed perfectionism has an element of pressure combined with a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. Socially prescribed  perfectionists tend to feel that “the better I do, the better I’m expected to do.”
    Furthermore, there are a variety of achievement related problems hat arise from this kind or perfectionism, such as self-handicapping (where the person spends time finding excuses for poor performance, rather than preparing for a performance).