The happiest and most loving moments in my life have been in a ‘love relationship’ however it is also a fact that the saddest and the loneliest experiences of my life have also been in a relationship. I often wonder about this aspect of life ‘Relationships’ a love relationship between a man and a woman can be the most beautiful experience as well as it can be the ugliest and saddest. Why is it so complicated? Or is it really? So I set out to find out some answers. I am no expert on this one be warned but I found some answers through my own mistakes and wrong choices. I researched as much legitimate information from the experts in the time that I could spare.
These articles I will not lose, but it is not enough. There is so much more to learn. However I do have a fair idea on this one to be able to comment on this topic here in my article.
For everyone compatible and happy relationship there are countless dysfunctional ones everywhere. But great ‘love relationships’ between men and women are possible.
There is a lot more I wish I knew about this complex subject; the differences between women and men, the love that can materialize when you meet the right one etc. I can agree with this one: the main reason for conflicts and misunderstandings to occur between the sexes is because men and women are completely different from each other. Therefore the only way to approach each other is with respect and kindness, there is no alternative to this. Men and women are way too different from each other than most of us care to realize and what is important to women in a relationships is not the same often with a man and therefore acknowledging these differences and respecting these differences is one of the best ways to go about it. The difference between men and women is not just in their physical strength (men) and emotional strength (women) there are many more complicated differences between the sexes.
Generally Men love Women because we are women and women love men because they are men. And when in a relationship, somewhere somehow for whatever reason/ s love ends. Perhaps it’s meant to be that way as nature intended it to be that way, maybe men and women can only share ‘this much’ with each other! Maybe that’s the real fact. And has ‘civilization’ been able to alter the age-old man/woman relationship dynamics? And its conditionings? Simply asked has civilization really reached and taken root as far as ‘relationships’ between men and women go? I know and I believe we all touch base with our age-old conditioning from time to time. And it is in this area that it is most evident.
Tip: Read articles on these matters written by the experts, it may help you get more insights on these important matters.
In my own personal experiences I realize that a lot also depends on the kind of person you are. Most men still exploit women and some women too exploit men and I believe most men cannot really love women in the true sense of the word. When I say ‘men love women because they are women’ generally it all boils down to ‘physicality’ And yet there are exceptions that prove that rule and some men do love women for being ‘women’ at least that’s what I would like to believe! Because if it’s not so it’s a real shame since most women do love men. They count on them they trust them and care about them. Maybe love between men and women does last but if you ask for passion to last that’s a tall order, and it applies to both-the sexes. Sad but true! Love and only love is the only thing that can last and most of us know this, the question is why is there so little real love or none at all between men and women in relationships? This is evident when and if relationships end.
Nothing is more revolting than to find out that the person you loved, respected and admired betrays you when the ‘party’ is over. Don’t be that person. Some go to bitter extremes of hate and abuse its unimaginable this happening in our civilized educated world. It’s a real shame when men and women behave badly with each other when they end their ‘friendship relationship’
Tip: Ending a love relationship does not have to be the end of respect for each other!
’Love’ Relationships often takes precedence to most matters’ in our lives. Some relationships are wonderful and some unfortunately are just not meant to be and should not be allowed to even begin. But then alas all sort of ‘love’ relationships do begin and end more often than not. We Women particularly make our ‘love relationship’ one of our most important priorities, to the extent that everything else takes a back seat. In some cases it is well worth the effort to take care of your relationship if you are lucky enough to be in a wonderful relationship with a wonderful man.
It’s a fact that a lot of women all over the world stay in miserable relationships (marriages), just so they are not’ alone’ or for other reasons such as family, society etc. such reasons are never right and it’s the women who pay the price, when they continue sharing their precious life with an undeserving partner.
I believe that a relationship without love, respect, and friendship toward one another is an insignificant waste of everyone’s time and life. Such a relationship does nothing but punch holes in one’s self esteem! It’s utterly foolish to continue in such a situation.
If you are in a relationship that is hurting you and your life, you should end it. It’s as simple as that. I do realize that it’s all nice and easy to preach but difficult to practice, but really nothing is impossible. If your partner does not value you, respect you and love you and there is no hope of you ever finding these things in your relationship, you should cut your losses if any and leave. If your partner realizes your value he/ she will do whatever is necessary to save it. And if that does not happen you will find out that it is a lot better to be single if need be and for as long as you wish to be, than to be in a relationship with a man who is all wrong for you, does not love you and does not add to your happiness in any way but drains you out of everything that you built for yourself and everything that is important to you. This kind of a relationship will eventually slam your self-esteem down to a zero!
Tip: In my opinion breaking off from a loveless relationship is good for both persons involved even if there are issues involved such as children property finance etc To continue in a loveless relationship/ marriage is demeaning to both people concerned and can do irreparable damage to your life and your children who get exposed to the drama that a failed relationship goes through. Get counseling, get help, do whatever it takes to find a way to save the relationship if there are little children involved. Save it if it’s possible by all means. But if after all those efforts to improve your relationship and your life and you still live in is ‘hell’ then you should leave that relationship. Infect run away as far away as possible from a demeaning loveless relationship and give yourself a chance to find peace and happiness in your life and to find love again when and if you are ready to be with someone else. Remaining single for as long as you wish is wonderful too. As wonderful as it is to be in a great loving relationship where you are valued, respected and desired unconditionally.
Many women stay in loveless abusive relationships due to their inability to realize how special they are, nor do they trust their own importance, have bad judgment and carry a fear of being single. They fear the ’stigma’ attached to such matters in our society. It is surprising that even many educated people have a ’screwed up’ opinion about single/divorced women. The truth is a single/ divorced woman is one of the most courageous person, a person who had the ‘guts’ to do what is best for herself and for her god given life. Walking out from a bad marriage/relationship is a sign of strength and dignity and not weakness and indignity. The indignity and or stigma are the figment of the imagination of the ’sick society’ we live in where rogues want to dictate the order of the day. Do not let any such societal pressures make you stay or do things that go against your better judgment. It is your life and only you have a right to decide and choose what is best for you.
We all get married or get into relationships with the best of intentions and want it to last forever or ’till death do us part’ However it isn’t that way in the real world.
Very few marriages are really happy ones; some of the people who stay together in spite of the hell they have created for each other do so for other reasons but love and attraction.
It is the weak and the fearful who stay and put up with their abusive husbands/boyfriends in spite of the pain and indignity they experience in a’drudgery’ called marriage relationships. They repeatedly make bad choices and put up with undeserving men. (I am aware that some men too put up and stay in bad relationships for various reasons) They should not!
Tip: No woman should ever feel she has to earn a man’s respect and love. The fact that you are a woman, qualifies you for the highest level of respect and admiration from every man alive!
Tip: It is better to be single than to be in a loveless relationship. There is great joy and freedom, in being single. There definitely is more power, peace, happiness and beauty being single than being in a relationship with a man who has betrayed your trust, is unfaithful and does not value you …
If you are in a situation like that take a step back, detach and disconnect to give yourself a chance to be single for a while and discover the beauty and freedom of being alone! Try it and you will discover how wonderful it is to be single and alone! Being alone is not being lonely there is a huge difference in the two. Being alone gives you the same power that a calm ’silence’ and ‘quite’ does to Our life and just like ’silence’ and ‘quite’ it can empower and rejuvenate Our mind and life. Get interested in your own life and get in touch with things that ‘ignite’ your soul.
I am and I have been a single mother since my child was barely a 7 year old. I have raised my Son alone and everything turned out just fine and even magnificent. How could I do it? Well I had many good things and good people around me and that includes my family who gave me some much needed support and most of all I had me!
I am a very satisfied woman today and good things are happening in my life. It’s because my life is so full of everything that I am passionate about, full of hope and faith and I feel a deep gratitude for my life just as it is. I am either involved in some project Or the other concerning my Work, or myself. I concentrate on my family, (good things happening in my family all the time too); there is so much to look forward to. I travel, I socialize, I write, I read and my life is filled with so much happiness and laughter, admiration and love, there is not a moment free to dwell on the mundane. There is humor and joy in my life in abundance and I make it a point to nurture these things for me and for my family. And every time I am traveling discovering new places (when I can afford it) or am socializing, I meet wonderful people who want to know me, the type of people I want to know as well.
I do not lack in attention from the opposite sex (never have so far) and it’s a: wonderful feeling when someone wonderful in his own right thinks you are ‘beautiful’ and ’sexy’ and you can remain cool and unaffected about it. That makes a woman appear more ’sexy’ I am told by men. I am happy and successful in my own right, in great health and I am not interested in the mundane games that ‘mundane men play. I am interested in a good man and I do plan to look into the matter of getting to know this intriguing guy with a ‘dazzling smile’ and I may ‘just do that, and let the chips fall where they may … you see I call the shots and its my call, and if I do he better be the most ‘wonderful’ ‘remarkable’ man in the whole wide world because that’s what I want from a man I choose to love.
Without mutual love respect and friendship, a relationship between a man and a woman is the ugliest most pathetic unhealthiest joke created by human beings to suit their whims and fancies and satisfy their need for ‘cheap thrills’. It’s gross, undignified, uncivilized and medieval.
Tip: This goes both ways for man and women. When choosing a partner look for a normal person with a kind loving compassionate heart first and foremost. Any human being, who possesses cruel rigid vicious vindictive traits even mildly, and has bad habits and vices, is not cut out for a love relationship. It may seem insignificant at first and it may just feel ok to ignore it but don’t. Be strong, and decisively weed out such a development asap, doing this you will protect yourself and the man involved from a bad experience.
A cynical hardhearted ruthless person cannot fall in love; it’s impossible for them to love another person. This is true of both Men and Women. There are weird-controlling women out there too who mess up with men just as there are weird men who mess up with women. These kind of human beings disqualify themselves. They are the Alcoholics, Drug Addicts, Gamblers, Criminals, Drug Pushers, Pimps, and Chronic Womanizers, those who idle their life away, and don’t have any sort of work or earn their living. Violent abusive people and religious fanatics are not qualified for love relationships too. These sorts of people need help and they should seek it before it’s too late. And unless they do they are disqualified from the normal list of the desirables for a love relationship. If they want to qualify they have to get their life together back on track or be left out forever.
There are some who even ridicule the ones who believe in ‘love’. These people are the confused lot. And ironically it is these very people who need love in their lives more than anyone else. It is these sorts of people who are forever searching and forever looking and never ever finding. They live alone not out of choice but because they cannot find love. If you don’t know what ‘love’ is how can you find it?
I believe that anyone who mocks and belittles ‘real love’ is a sad immature person. Love is the only thing that matters not just in a relationship in every sphere of our lives. Only when you love and allow love to enter your life can you find fulfillment.
Tip: The opposite of love is not hate, far from it really the opposite of love and friendship is detachment and indifference.
No man was ever so much deceived by another as by himself. If you fall in love. feel lucky. experience it fully. Cherish it for as long as possible. because when it ends it’s gone forever and it never ever feels the same again.
Tip: Be very careful if you are in love with a man who has no trouble hurting your feelings.
You should get away from such a man and you should. do so asap before your life becomes a total misery. A man who has no trouble hurting you is not the right man for you; the right man will never enjoy hurting you. The right man will never enjoy’ crushing’ your soul. He will never feel indifferent toward your sadness and hurts. A man, who cares about you, protects you from hurts as much as he protects himself; a man’s instinct is to protect a woman, and when this is missing in a man he is incomplete. A good man cares about your feelings, he knows when you need him and is there for you even without you asking. A man who cares about you does not enjoy punching holes in your self-esteem; he does not try to make you feel that you have to ‘earn’ his time and love. If he does, than he is not the right man. The right man will always treat you right without you ever having to say a word about it. If you are experiencing these sorts of things in your relationship … be careful! And I should like to add ‘dump him’!
Tip: The fact is even if you make a fatal mistake in a relationship it will not make a difference with the right man. Sometimes our mistakes are ways of weeding out the wrong man from our life because if he was the right one our mistakes big or small would not affect the relationship, if it was a relationship at all in the first place
Tip: Is it worth it to love a man who treats you badly? Not only should you walk away from a man who treats you badly, you should run away from such a man. You will do both of yourselves a favor.
Tip: The key to any great relationship is kindness! That mysterious tug in our hearts for the one you are attracted to! If you detect that the one you are attracted to is not a kind hearted person, don’t encourage letting that attraction go any further. If you are watchful you will detect this early on, listen to your inner voice, the whisper that all of us get when we are about to make a mistake. Most of the times we tend to ignore it and that is the problem with some people when they fall in love.
Tip: Men who treat women badly do not really like women, and women should learn to figure that out and stay away from such men. (These are also known as the disqualifiers) These kinds of men damage women’s hopes and dreams. The answer again is to make an intelligent choice! (This applies to men as well) There are wonderful men in this world, who really like women and want to be in loving relationships with women based on respect, friendship, love, desire and attraction for each other.
Tip: Men or women … Should be clear about the reasons why they want to be in a relationship. If you are looking for a ‘fling’ by all means go out there and have your fling and have fun while at it! But do so with someone who is also looking for a fling. Be honest, respectful and open about your intentions with each other.
There are some women too who are not meant to be in loving relationships. ‘Needy for settling down women make lousy partners, Women who are desperate to be in a ‘relationships’ for reasons other than real love are needy women. Such women are not qualified as well to be in a relationship as yet. Women who believe that a man is responsible for her happiness and materialistic needs and wants lack self respect. I wonder what kind of needy weak men get attracted to such women!
Tip: Birds of a feather flock together. We get what we deserve! So make sure you deserve the best!
Women who depend on men to feel ’settled’ have not yet identified their reasons to be in a relationship quite right No one can make you feel ’settled ‘you have to be and feel ’settled’ and comfortable in your own life and mind first, to feel ’settled’ in a great relationship.
I believe that women (and men )should first get their life together in every way, be well educated, be matured and intelligent, have a wonderful complete life, get rid if any ‘past baggage’ and be free and comfortable to be in a relationship. That’s the time to consider a love relationship.
Tip: Make your life beautiful and fun. Feel completely fulfilled and worthwhile, take care of the present and the future will take care of itself.
Note: Everyone situation and priorities are unique and you must make your won decisions accordingly. As for me I rather be single than be in a relationship with the wrong sort of man just for the sake of being in a relationship that my choice well you will have to decide what your priorities are and then make your choice and decision. The point is to surround your life with happiness and feel valued and loved. This is important to feel beautiful and look beautiful as well as to take care of your general health. A relationship that is wrong with the wrong person can screw up your mind and destroy your health.
Tip: Most men are wonderful glorious human beings. There are just a few who are ‘rats’ and it’s lip to women to identify the rats and keep them away if they are committed for their own well being.
Essentially most men will lay down their lives to protect a woman. Even if she is a total stranger about whom. they know nothing about. It is therefore perhaps the saddest and most heart wrenching when we hear see men harming, abusing and betraying a woman.
Most men need women in their lives. Research shows that men are more dependent on women and not the other way round.
Some men insist their life does not amount to much without a good loving woman in their life. A woman who makes them feel good about themselves.
Tip: No woman should feel ‘desperate’ to be in a relationship unless it is a matter of having children and her biological clock is ticking and even so it is a big blunder to have children with a wrong partner and choosing in a hurry. There is more pain to experience with this desperation than happiness. Therefore no matter how young old or middle aged! Women should not make decisions in desperation in any matter. Stay cool and in no rush to be in a relationship. Every heterosexual male needs a good woman in his life more than a woman needs a man in her life. It is men usually who are desperate to be with a beautiful woman and not the other way round. It’s a pity that more women don’t realize this.
Women have a lot of power over men in many ways and most don’t realize it! It’s a very simple matter about being women actually that holds the key. It is up to each woman to find out what her secret weapon is. I will let you in on a simple clue. It’s about being you in an easy secure confident way .. ..
Secure happy women too make wrong choices in love relationships and experience confusion hurts disappointments etc. I speak from experience in this matter and can safely say that it’s true that ‘Relationships’ don’t lend them to logic, so anyone can make mistakes. Just because we are’ secure happy confident’ women does not mean we cannot make mistakes, we can and we will. Great Love involves great risks and that’s a risk you may have to be prepared for when you let your heart fall in love (head over heels) with a man and he turns out to be the wrong man! Hell ladies that’s the worst thing that can happen to a decent trusting woman!
We live just once lets make our life the very best, we can. Do not let a man you care about treat you badly. If you still have loving feelings toward him, sit him down and talk with him about what is hurting you and after that if your situation is still hurtful leave that man. Walk away, detach yourself from that situation.
Tip: Each and every man who has a woman’s love is lucky to have it and if he does not have the grace to appreciate such a love he does not deserve it!
Tip: Whenever you have to make a decision on such matters I suggest you consult your heart because it will always tell you what to do. However make sure you are the 1" priority to your ‘heart’ And while you are at it involve your mind too, so you take loving intelligent decisions.
A man who really wants to be with you will do everything he can to be with you no matter what you do or don’t do, no matter what you say or do not say! And no matter where he is in his life and what he has to do and not do to b., with you. When a man likes a woman he knows how to find her, reach her and be with her. Nothing she does or doesn’t do is wrong, and when a man does not like or love a woman no matter how good she is, she will never be good enough in his eyes and he will never treat her right.
In this sort of a situation a man will take advantage of the woman who has a capacity to love him and does so even when he has no such love or even intentions or a sense of decency in return toward her. This woman will experience nothing but pain and humiliation in such an ‘arrangement’ it is unhealthy, don’t be in it! Do not continue loving a man who has no capacity to love you in return and do not settle for anything less than love. Love is a feeling alright but it’s also a decision we make and it shows in the things we do for one another in a relationship. Love is not about a sexual relationship only! And people can have sex without love for one another (well men do that) But Sex without loving affectionate respectful feelings for one another is unfulfilling and demeaning to the woman.
Topmost relationship tip: Most importantly identify to yourself the most important qualities you need and want in a man to be in a relationship with him.
Every relationship is different from the other, and as mentioned before, no love relationship lends itself to logic. Some things that happen in such matters are incomprehensible and that’s perhaps why there is no logic to this matter in relationships. Luckily most women eventually know when to put a stop to an unhappy relationship. And even though some take longer than necessary to distance themselves from a ‘bad arrangement’ most women do eventually walk away from such things and take care of themselves and their loved ones. Basically women with a strong sense of their person do realize that they deserve a lot better and end a bad hurtful relationship sooner or later. Tip: Its better late than never.
‘Tip: If a man you care about forgets your birthday! Think again! Ask yourself what this friendship/ relationship could really mean to him. This is a huge sign that says he has no special feelings or respect for you. You mean nothing to such a man. You should end your association with such a man. He will never treat you right nor ever value you; he will merely use you because you allow it. This man will never ever consider you as an equal to his so called ’social level’ such a man has a ’superiority complex’ his way of thinking is all screwed up and no normal self respecting woman can survive in such a ‘joke’ of a friendship relationship. It is unhealthy it’s sad and it’s wrong on every count. If you still care about him anyway, you can help him by pointing out his self-damaging traits. Whether he accepts it and does something to help himself is not your concern. That’s for each one to realize or live forever in that hateful hell that they create for themselves.
Tip: If you ever get overlooked in any situation be it social or work, a new friendship or love relationship, realize this the only people who will overlook you and ignore you, are the ones you do not want to make contact with or need in your life anyway. And it just could be a wonderful stroke of luck, such things happen for a reason and often there is something you never ever imagined in store for you, and it is always good and could even be magnificent!
Tip: An amazing woman wants the attention of an amazing man, and that’s well worth a try. How do you attract an amazing man? As far as I am concerned I feel its just being yourself! If everything is good in your life and you are happy where you are at in your life and you are ready to let that ‘wonderful man’ find you and you are interested in allowing him into your life you will naturally attract it in your life. You don’t have to do anything, because the best things happen naturally you just got to be you! Normal happy and uncontrived! The only thing that you need to do is allow yourself to want that wonderful man in your life and be prepared to give it a chance to develop.
Never settle for any man less than your’ ideal’ just so as to be in a relationship. There is no lasting happiness and fulfillment to be found in a relationship when you ’settle’ for anyone ‘available’ just because you’re ideal one has not crossed paths with you as yet. You may feel you are ‘missing the boat’ societal or parental pressures to ’settle’ whatever the reason they are wrong reasons so don’t settle for anything less than what you really want and need. When you are’ centered’ and your life is great and you want to be in a good relationship without any sort of pressures and you trust yourself you will be in a great relationship sooner or later. You will attract it without you even lifting a finger! In any case no matter what happens do not "settle" and do not lower your ’standard’ it’s not worth it.
